mistakes

our mistakes do not define us now, they show us who we are not...

Learing how to Breathe...

So money is harder to make, or keep, i'm not sure yet, in Queenstown. Most jobs are minimum wage as there is a queue of people behind you waiting to take your job at the first chance so they needn't entice you in with the promise of high wages. With this, living costs are through the roof, a beer costs you nearly an hour's wage, and when you have to get your van fixed, a whole months pay cheque can be eaten up in one day! So this is where i am at, van is in the shop today for a bit of welding and then i can get it back road legal and be out exploring on my days off. I've been trapped by money, knee and lack of transport recently but things are finally looking to shape up with summer approaching. Knee is healing, van is nearly fixed, and work will be picking up as more people come through the town to visit. I've also been in a bit of a loose head space as it now over a year since i was home but i had a read through one of my books the other day and this helped to put things back into perspective, to see the true beauty in life and living for the moment, each one as precious as the last.

I have also re-found breathing, something that i lost in the pace of life over winter. I know that sounds funny but true, deep, pure breathing. Most situations can be easily sorted by just pausing and taking a deep, slow and deliberate breath, stresses melt away and perspective is re-achieved.
If you can change the outcome of it, you don't need to worry, and if you cannot change to the outcome, worrying will achieve nothing, instead just accept and move with it, don't let it consume you....

True NZ...

So i moved from Wanaka to Queenstown for a new job, and although i had visited Queenstown a few times before i moved here, it certainly has a funny feel to it now i live here. It is incredibly transient and people move through all the time. It doesn't have a personal or cultural feel to it, and last night, i went for a few beers with some friends and getting to one of the bars downtown, a guy was screaming at the bouncer having been thrown out for being too drunk. It made me lose a bit of faith in humanity again. Do i really want to be here and surround myself with this kind of lifestyle and negativity? Currently, i need to make some money so i can get my van back up and running as it has run out of road tax and registration, so once that is sweet i will be keeping myself out of town as much as possible, finding more well rounded people to have around me, those that will expel positivity and good feelings, those who appreciate the beauty in this country, those who want to share in the experiences of NZ, true NZ...

Season Close...

So it has come to that time where my winter season in NZ has wrapped up, the mountains are closed, the job is finished and it is now time to see what the next adventure will be. Wanaka has been the most incredible home to have found on the other side of the world, it has had both amazing ups, and incredible downs, it has shown me the person i can be, and the person i am not. I have made choices here, both good and bad, but overall i have seen what i can be, and who i am and what it takes to keep me going. It's not about who has the most money, it's not about the best job, it's about who's having the most fun, and making the most of this life we live in.

You've got one life, live it...

Why do we fall...?

So i have been seeing my physio since i wrecked my knee out and things have gone from good, to better, to awesome! My knee is getting stronger each day, exercises are getting easier to do, pain is less and Louise said to me the other day that she actually wanted me to go snowboarding... YES!!!
I was due to do just one run on the beginner slope to see how it faired, and by the time i had got down i was already back on the lift ready for another bash! The second run went well, found a little powder pocket to skim across and it felt incredible, like floating on pure magic. Since then i have been out on my lunch breaks riding and building my knee up, getting it stronger, and learning how to shield it in my ride style to not put any adverse pressure on it. The feeling of working hard at something, getting back to a point you were at previously until it was taken from you, gives such a sense of achievement. The rehabilitation process has been relatively short for me compared to some folks who take themselves out in all walks of life, but however it is done, to whomever, it takes something to get back on it and work hard to achieve your goals. I guess i really feel that this has taught me about that process of getting back on it, that taking these hits and set backs is part of the process. If you don't have it taken away from you, you can never appreciate the feeling of getting it back, and that feeling is priceless...

"Why do we fall...?

....So we can learn to pick ourselves back up"

I would give my left leg for that...

So my initial blase attitude to my knee being just a bit sore and bruised really stepped up a gear this week. I had my first session with my physio on Tuesday night and here i am sitting downtown on Saturday with a flight to Christchurch booked for tomorrow and an MRI scan and an appointment with an Orthopedic surgeon scheduled for Monday morning. All has escalated very quickly...

At the minute, it looks like i may have done both my ACL and PCL ligaments and torn a section of my quad from off my knee, with a compression fracture to boot! All of this from one snowboard fall, it wasn't even a particularly spectacular crash, just had the board wash out from under my me on some ice whilst riding one of the steepish runs at Cardrona. In all honesty i feel real sheepish about causing all this fuss but i have to be honest with myself and admit that it hasn't got any better since i did it, i still can barely walk, and even if it costs an arm and a leg to pay all these bills, i really don't want it to literally cost me a leg.
Having been at work today with it all day today, one of the girls in the ticket office said that she didn't really fancy going out skiing today cos the weather was a bit naff, i now know the true meaning to saying to someone:

"I'd give my left leg for that..."

I guess this has shown me not to take my mobility for granted, there are so many people out there who would kill for the opportunity to hurt themselves snowboarding, because it is something they cannot access, either physically, financially, or geographically. The saying of you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone is really quite apt, i lost my chance to snowboard, but i've also lost the ability to walk, drive, sleep comfortably and be self reliant. But i know that with the help of the doctors and my physio, i can have another shot at chances for those things again, whilst others have to contend with the eternal knowledge that they cannot. From this i have learned about gratitude, i have learned about accepting help, and i have learned about how quickly basic rights can be taken from you. At least mine will be a temporary situation, but certainly one that has shown me a lot about the world around us...

Wanaka in the winter time...

So sitting in Wanaka a week after i took a bail on my snowboard with my knee wrapped up in a Forest Gump style brace, my crutches are leaning dejectedly against the internet cafe window. They seem to be longingly looking up towards the mountains where the powder has been dumped and the lines are there for the taking...
It all began so well, with last weekend being the first worthy dump of the season, it really seemed like we were finally off and the weather was going to keep bringing in the fresh stuff like we all hoped. 4 hours later it was all over, sitting in Ski Patrol base with a cast being put on my leg and a referral for x rays in my hand. Alas as yet, the results are still not back so i don't really know whats going on, except that i cannot ski or ride at the minute. Although i came to NZ for the winter season, i still have a huge amount to take away from here, and today, sitting down in the valley i have time to recall and understand that. The last few weeks i have spent every minute either on the hill for work, or on it for play. I've banked more ride hours so far that some get in an entire season, and I'm still positive to be back out before the season wraps up. With 6weeks to go, i might be out for a while, but hopefully not all. At a time where i thought it would be hard to cope with being so restricted, it has helped to look back through my blog and see where i have come from and where i may go to. This is merely another experience on my journey that i can either mope about and feel sorry for myself over, or something that i can look through, see the positives and relish the fact that i am alive and living, working and breathing in a NZ winter, exactly where i asked to be 18months ago when i decided to go.

Life will flick you these funny turns, but we can get through it, we always do...

Worry...

Worry is something that seems to rule parts of life. But whats is it and how useful is it??

Worry is merely a internal metal projection of what you think may happen in the future. You don't know what will happen, and in most instances there is little control over the future. In life i now believe there to be two things; situations that you have control over, and those that you do not. If you can change the outcome of an event, then you do not need to worry, and if you cannot change to outcome, then worrying will not change anything.
Baz Luhrman put it very well when he said "Worrying is as effective as trying to solve and algebra equation by chewing bubblegum". That really is how simple it is, worry is an anticipated projection that will cause you to miss out on where you are right here and now. You are always living in the moment, you are never in the future, and even if you do get to a point you saw in your future projection, it will still be the now, so by living in the now, you can remove worry, remove negativity and just be so happy to see life in all it's glory.
Live in the now and appreciate life around you. Next time you see a beautiful object, don't just say "look at that beautiful flower/sunset/mountain" as a mechanical reaction to societies condition, really feel the beauty and let it wash over you. It brings about peace and tranquility, something that seemed to be missing from my life before NZ where i was living in the future, always worrying about work, houseing, money, what i was going to do next week instead of merely seeing where i was and how great a place that is.

Travelling does broaden your horizons, but you don't need to head off round the world to see just how amazing the place you are at is. Home is where the heart is so love you home and you will see it in such an incredible way...

Life in Wanaka...

So i have been in Wanaka for a few months now and it is still just as much fun as it was when i arrived. I've met some incredible people, had some amazing jobs, and have learnt so much about life and how i can cope. I've had run ins with all sorts, both good and bad, but i have rocked out on the other side of each situation a better person, with more knowledge, more experience, more life lived and more passion for the next step. NZ has hit me so hard in terms of showing me what a different life is out there compared to how i was living back in the UK. Here is much more relaxed, much more subtle, much more intimate. My town has 6000 inhabitants and there is such a sense of community here. everyone is looking out for everyone, people stop and talk to you in the street, each stranger here is merely a friend waiting to happen, it blows me away each day i wake up and find what i am looking for.

New Zealand has trully become everything i hoped for, but nothing like i expected. I will always come back here, it feels as much a home to me as St.Albans, and Stoke does. Tomorrow i get my new tattoo to capture the essence of my time in New Zealand, my experiences, my memories, my ups and downs, and my journey.

I remember seeing a quote when i was younger on a climbing poster that read

"Success is a journey, not a destination"

That quote seems to fit what i have found, where i have come from and where i may go to but i don't think 'success' is what i am after. To me, success is happiness, health, love and freedom. They are our basic human rights and they are so achievable to all of us if we want it, you just have to open yourself to finding it and it will flood in....

New Job...

I now have a new job working for Cardona Alpine resort in the Ticket Office of the Ski Field. by far and away this is the most amazing job i have ever had. Each day i drive a work provided van from my house out of town, up the mountain as the sun is rising, i spend all day sitting in bluebord skies whilst the cloud inversion sits in the valley and i get to ride for free each day. Skiing is something i have doen only once before i started this job but in 3 days I have got it sussed on intermediate runs and working to hit the black runs too.
The team i work with is fantastic, the whole mountain buzzes with energy and positivity, it picks you up and you just ride on a wave of jubilation all day and night.

Each day so far i arrive, and leave work still smiling, and that is truly something, to be happy each and every day with your job, i feel so good about being here. new jobs and new beginnings, magic...

Hurts like a hole in the hand...

playing with our American Staffy Bull yesterday, i managed to get him confused betweenwhat is a stick and what is a hand.
Unfortunately for me, that meant a swift trip to the docs for a tetanus, and get it stitched back up. Hope this wont affect the start of ski season which kicks off in a week, and i am supposed to be climbing tomorrow too so it could be a one handed session, no way i am not going!
Sun is shining, i have a week of no work, and life is swell and swimmingly....

Tattoo plans...

I've got some plans at the moment for some new tattoos that will show what this trip to NZ has done for me and my new outlook on life, my new refreshed state of mind, my new found peace, trust and love for the life i am in.

Watch this space...

Two people cannot look for each other...

So over the last week i have come to a bit of an odd realisation. It started on a shopping trip over to Queenstown with a friend, ending up in the Warehouse store. We both disappeared off in different directions to get the things we each needed, but this store is huge. I lost Mel and walked around for nearly 20mins looking for her. She, having lost me, did the same. The whole time i was looking for her, she was looking for me. I walked clockwise round the store, went out to the car, sat on a bench by the door, then went hunting again. All this time, Mel was doing the same, even going anti clockwise round the store incase we were following each other. Eventually she stopped and waited for me to arrive. Only then did we find each other.

Two days ago, a friend in town vanished after a night out, and we spent until 2pm the next day looking for her. She was also looking for us this whole time. Again, only when we stopped and took stock of the situation, knowing that she knew where we worked and where we lived, she would come to us so it was now my turn to wait to be found.

This is it, this is what i realsied. Two people cannot look for each other, one of you must be found, the other must doing the finding, else you run around in circles, endlessly hunting for something that is geographically mobile. This fits so many things in life, and i believe that if you are searching for something static, then be active, get going and go find it. If however, what you are searching for is mobile, is impossible to place, then breathe, take a step back and see if it can find you. Invariably this world will provide just what you want, just when you need it.

If you don't believe this, have some faith and give it a go...

If you put it out there, the universe will provide...

So 18months ago i said that i was going to move to New Zealand and work on a ski field in Wanaka.
I knew almost nothing about Wanaka, know no-one here, knew nothing about the ski industry, but here i am, on the run up to NZ winter with a job up on Cardrona ski field. It all worked out so perfectly that it trully showed to me the power of the universe and the laws of attraction.

My decision to live and work in Wanaka all those months ago was based upon nothing. This town is maybe 6,000 inhabitants strong, dwarfed by its bigger neighbors but it called to me, i was attracted to it, and through that law of attraction, i have made it, found what i was looking for and am blissfully happy.

My job stacking fruit and veg has been great, the job is easy, social, relaxing, and pays the bills. I have had a great start to life here and moving to a new job on Cardrona is just the next step in this incredible journey that is the life i am living.

This is not the start, not the end, just the Now. All we have is that moment in the Now when the past is a memory, and the future is a projection of what we think might happen. Problems from past and worries for the future drift away, replaced instead by the most incredible feeling of worth right here and Now. Now i trully look at this world i live in, and instead of saying "What a pretty flower"as a mechanical response to it, i really see the beauty in the world, the people, and the things around me.

Live the Dream, Live the Now, Love the Life....

Thanks for the support...

So i sent an email today to someone who has been so influential and supportive in my life and that of my family. It was a hard email to send, as it felt a little bit like a goodbye, but it wasn't. It was an update on the progression in both my life, and that of my family. We have all reached a milestone, the same mile stone, but at different point in our lives. It made me very proud to put down in writing my thoughts and feelings, and to be able to construct my emotions in a way which i felt were fitting.

It's funny how things creep up on certain days, days that are really significant in your life, but you don't see the link until you sit back and take stock of it all.

So when you read this John, thanks for the support, thanks for everything...

I don't have the time...

I found a little something today that i thought was really neat, and next time i think i don't have time for something, this will ring in my ears...

"I don't have the time...
But time is all you have. It's the one thing we are given to use as we choose. You can spend it in traffic, or watching TV. You can spend it staring at the little video game man who is having more of a life than you are. You can spend it working yourself into a lifeless shell. Or you can spend it on the things you love..."

I read this today, and although wasn't all that keen on how it judged, it did ring true. You can spend it seeing friends, or staying home, or out in the rain, or on a hill top, a beach, a meadow, wherever you deem important. You can use it as you please and it is the one universal entity that is at your complete disposal.

I guess it all comes down to choice, and priorities. We all get 24hrs in a day, and we can choose how to use it. I used to think people who played video games all day were wasting their lives, but now i know that that is their choice. If that is what makes them happy then who i am to say it is a waste. For me, getting out there, in the elements, seeing the sights, feeling the world, that is my choice. And by doing this i have come to the realisation that choice is everyones undeniable right, and that feels quite significant for me.

If it makes you happy, then it is the right thing to do. I always say "Live the Dream", and now i understand that everyones dream is different, diverse, and able to teach others a huge amount. That i like.
Alot.

:)

Maybe i just don't get it....

I was at my new job today in the Fruit and Veg department of New World supermarket in Wanaka, and one of my colleagues who has been at the store for maybe more years than is good for her, HEAVILY criticised my stacking of bananas. Apparently i did not get enough out on the shelf, although in my humble opinion, getting 10boxes out on display should give the Wanaka public more than enough choice of which banana they would like.
I then got a 25minute lesson on how to get 12boxes stacked in the same space. I mean i appreciate the assistance, but to go out of your way (and she really did got out of her way) to criticise someone's, quite frankly, novice fruit stacking abilities when they have had no training, or teaching is just a little far fetched for my meager mind obviously.
I took the lesson on board and will endeavor to get 12 boxes out now, but jeez, is life really that important?? Is there not more important things to stress over?


But then again, maybe i just don't get it....

People who know people....

So it's been a while since i last scribed something on here, multiple things have kept me away from computers and civilisation which has been awesome, but now is time for electronic pen to paper.

So i am officially in Wanaka for the Winter Season now. i have a house, a job, money in the bank , a set of skis and new boots, 75cents thermal undies from the local charity shop, but i look out of thw window, and do i see snow??

No. No i do not.

A light dusting hit the tops a couple of days ago, and with the incessant cloud now over Wanaka i have no idea whether it is still there. I hope so and this is the first laying of the winter pack but it may well just melt off in this rain before it can bond.

So whats the crack here? The job hunt went well, i landed various odd jobs through the local job agency, housekeeping and vineyard mostly, and then out of the blue one Tuesday when i was feeling particularly despondent about getting proper work, i got a call from the local supermarket where i had dropped off a CV 2wks previous. They had an opening in the Produce department so i was called in for an informal chat to present myself, and i am happy to say that i must have done a good job as within 4minutes i was ofered the job to start the following monday! Sweet as. Money time!!

With this in mind, i had pretty much run down to my final couple of hundred dollars arriving in Wanaka so i couldn't really afford to leave and travel, as i would miss potential work and be spending with nothing coming in. Bummer situation. But with this job, i was secure in funds coming, so i hopped straight in the van after my interview, and headed off with Emory to Queenstown, Te Anau, and on to Milford Sound on a 5 day trip.

NZ as a whole has been an absolutely incredible trip, but it has been made all the more special by the people i have met, both here and at home, and the people they have been able to put me in contact with.
Thinking back to when i very first arrived in Auckland, i already had a home to stay in for a week with Clare and Tony so nothing to really worry about with the hassle of arriving, finding a place to stay and start from scratch. They gave me such useful hints and tips about how to get the most out of NZ life, and i am so grateful for this awesome start to my trip, it really has transformed it for me. From there, i ran into Luke and Emma from St.Albans whilst downtown in Auckland, and through that i was introduced to Tree, Ian, Sam and Josh. This was very pivotal in my trip as i spent a lot of time with Luke and Emma on trips, and have made friends for life. Tree and Ian were also so good to me, adopting me in and treating me like one of the family, with Sam and Josh like my new little brothers and best friends. From here i went to OPC to work in central North Island, where i met up with Jamie and Mo, friends of one of my mates from North Wales, and who invited me into their home for dinners and took me out kayaking a few times. OPC was a great place to make contacts, and from there i have met many people down the road who have been able to help me out. Also from home, Mike put me in contact with Bron in Wellington, and Kev in Nelson, both of whom were also known to OPC guys.
I stayed with Bron for a night in Wellington before getting the ferry across to the South Island, and was treated to an amazing steak dinner, and a warm family home to relax in for the night. Catching the midnight ferry i arrived into Nelson the following day where i met up with Kev. Again i was put up for the night, and then given keys to the house as Kev was away with work for a few days. Whilst here i went off to hike in Abel Tasman, climb in Takaka, and see the Nelson Lakes National Park. i went back to nelson for a night and spent this again at Kev's place before heading off the next day down the West Coast. Through Kev, i was given information on some great climbing spots along the way, most notably, a phenomenal cornerclimb in Charleston, "The Corner", reputed to be the best Grade 17 in the country, and my my, it was superb.
From here i carried on through down the Coast with Emory towards Wanaka, where i met up with Mike's friend Phil.
Phil deserves a huge mention as he has been so influential in getting me set up here in Wanaka. Arriving here, i spent the afternoon getting a feel for the town then met Phil for a beer, which he insisted on paying for and would not let me get any rounds in. From here we went up to his section of land, about 30mins walk from centre of town, where he said i could park the van for as long as i wanted and would not have any trouble from being moved on (stopping overnight in campervan's is forbidden in Wanaka area, with a community group who feel so strongly about it that they patrol between 3am and 5 am knocking on van windows to move people on...)
From here, i was granted access to Phils workshop to do any maintainance i needed to do, as well as being given the keys to his office downtown, which he told me was at my disposal after office hours, and inside were a shower and laundry facilities, so i was all sorted with somewhere to live, somewhere to wash and clean, and i was also heading into one of the Backpacker hostels in the evening to use kitchen facilities too! My van became a static-but-potentially-mobile bedroom/wardrobe in a field behind the local vets! The field i was parked in was bordered by a couple of houses as it is on outskirts of town and ready to new development prospects. My neighbors, Craig one one side, and Angela and Gareth on the other side, had me into their houses for dinner on a few occasions too, which made a welcome change from either cooking on the back of the van with Emory, or heading to hostels to cook up. Such amazing generosity, which i as yet have not been able to repay, but i shall do as soon as possible.
Also in town, i have met up with a guy who worked with my brother in Wales, 4 years ago. Odd story behind it but basically i handed a CV in at one of the bars and he was working in the kitchen, and upon recognising the name "MASTERMAN" (how many can there be??) he text me to see if i was Stu's brother. meeting up for a few beers i then spent two nights at his house whilst i was getting sorted with a place to live, and also his housemates are high up in Cardrona ski field, the place i want to work for winter, and so i stand a very good chance of getting in there now because of it. Al works in hospitality, and has been in town for 18months, so all the bar staff know him, so by association, they know me, so drinks are rarely paid for, and worst case is two for one! I have already met a few other Cardrona staff through Al so i now have more contacts in the ski fields. Sweet.
Through my new jobs, one of my co-workers had a friend who was after a new house mate, and Nicole thought of me as she knew i was on the hunt. I went round to see the house and it was awesome, modern, huge bedroom, walking distance of town, prime shower, double beds, and a guard dog called "Bones" too :)

It has been an incredible journey so far, and the people i have met have made it that way. By opening my mind to the possibilities of doing this, i have been able to find it. Itineraries have become a thing of the past, plans are loose at best and being the flow, rather than going with the flow have made from some very special memories already.

Things can only get better and better in life from here on in, with meeting more and more people on my journey, and finding the places where that will lead...

Wanaka landings...

So i have arrived in Wanaka, where i plan to make my base for the winter season. The mountains that surround Wanaka are amazing and inspiring. As yet i have not been out ot play but i plan to change that this weekend.
I have been on the hunt for a job since arriving, and at the moment have had no luck. I seem to have arrived a few weeks too early but at least i am here ready for it. I have signed up to help out with a voluntary Easter programme for young kids on the area, i am building dens and scavenger hunting tomorrow, horse riding on thursday and more adventures on friday!
I plan to get myself immersed in the community and know that if i do this, the good grace and opportunities will arise from my input. At the moment, cash is running a little short and the van needs some money spent on it but it will not be long before i can be earning again. I am staying at a friends plot of land, living in the van and i am happy. The sun has shined each day i have been here and i have just found out some climbing goes on very, very close. Also i am looking into getting up into the Alps as the hut access is amazing and it puts me within touching distance of Mt. Aspiring too.

All is well, live is good and it feels great to be alive and be here, living in the now...

How an incredible experience can break your camera...

Swimming with a dolphin....

Not in a crappy aquarium, in the open sea...

With no other tourists around....

With the sun shining...

IN NEW ZEALAND!!


Holy hell, what a phenomenal thing to have come across out here. Out in the bay at Whakatane is a bottlenose dolphin cruising around and playing games, and i happened to be right place, right time, right everything to be able to swim with him. He dug around in the dirt at my toes, swam into me, past my legs, through my legs and played with a surfboard i pushed around for him. There were no other tourists about, no one else to bother him, just a dolphin that loved playing.

Alas, no pictures to boot as my waterproof camera i had just bought to replace my old one, didn't quite live up to its reputation of being submersible, so one quick dunk and it was dripping wet inside. But i don't mind, i would happily trade the camrea for the dolphin.

Another epic, and quite frankly, unbelievable thing that had happened to me in NZ, where ever next???

Visits from home to live in the Now...

Might be getting a visit from Claire in the next week, she is out visiting her folks in Oz, and has figured that NZ needs to be done too! Totally stoked for that, i think an injection of home comforts will do wonders for my state of mind and really pick me back up after a rough last couple of weeks. we'll have 8 days of tripping it round in my van with her friend Lyndall too who is coming over from Oz with her. Going to take it from Auckland to Wellington, taking in the East coast on the way down. I'm really keen to catch a sunrise from East Cape, the first sunrise of the new day on the planet! No-one else will be as far East as we will be so that will be really, really special for me.

I'm planning to just take it as i have done for the last 4 months on roadtrips, if we see something we want to stop for, just chirp up and we'll stop. If you get a good vibe on something, then act on it and see how it turns out; I've been taught by some very special people over here an incredibly valuable lesson:

Live in the now...

Work ethic...

It's real nice to have your hard work and ethic to a job recognised by your boss. I have been labouring on a building site for the last week and a half. Told my boss yesterday i was moving to the South island, and he was stoked for me. He shook my hand, thanked me for the work and said if i ever wanted more work, he'd hire me back in a flash. He then decided that he would bump up my pay an extra $5 an hour for the last week as a sign of his appreciation, which was awesome. Working 48hour weeks, an extra 5 each hour really makes a difference. With that in the ol' sky rocket, i'm off to buy a new camera seeing as the old one is no more!

Anawhata beach....

If you ever get to NZ, a trip to watch the sun set from Anawhata beach, just North of Piha has to be on your list.

I've been out twice in the last few days for it, and the place is just magical. Truly on e of those places where you feel completely happy, content, and fulfilled.

Magic....

Leaving OPC...

It has been a couple of weeks now since i left the Edmund Hillary OPC and my time has been filled with a huge array of working, travelling, van issues, and future plans.

Leaving OPC was hard to do. I really found another true sense of family down there, and that is a hard thing to leave behind. I looked out for others, and in turn, others looked out for me. On my good days i was able to help others, and on days when i was struggling, people were there to help me. The final week there was truly awesome for me. I spent the week itself out working with a high school group from Tuaranga, co-instructing the week with Keith, which went superbly and taught me a huge amount about myself, working with others and leading groups. I think i am at a point in my life of heightened awareness of my senses, where i am more in tune with what is happening around me. Not only that, but i am at a very reflective point in life, able to look back, deconstruct the actions i performed, the words i said, the thoughts i had and learn from them in positive ways. OPC really brought that out in me in an environment that i was both comfortable in, yet also pushing my comfort zones at times too.

I have also become much more culturally aware since being in NZ, and especially with my time at OPC. The Maori culture is one that i find fascinating, and the first culture i have looked at in this way in my life so far. This point has led to me to ask the question of why that is? I am fairly sure that it is not the fact that the Maori culture is the most captivating culture on the world that i have experienced, but that i am at my most captivated point of life so far. With this, it only seems natural for me to be totally wrapped in the cultural aspect of Aotearoa. At OPC i worked alongside a number of Maori men and women, who each taught

me a little about their culture, some more actively than others, others did it passively, whilst

some taught me with out even knowing it. I gained a huge amount both spiritually and

mentally from my time with them and i know it has shaped me as a person to have experienced

these things with them.

OPC is an experience i will look back on with fond memories, both for the things i did, but also

for the people i met; as well as looking forward with eager anticipation as i wonder where it will

lead, either directly by the contacts i have made there, or indirectly by the way it has shaped,

refined and directed me as a person. I was definately sad to leave as the people there welcomed

me with open arms and truly made me feel like home.

I met some great people, greater to me than they will ever know for what they were able to give

to me through sharing experiences and stories, good times and bad. Being in the workshop was

another family I have found out here, one which welcome d me in, watched me grow, guided me

with the deftest touch, but only when it saw i was not releasing my full potential. Toney and

John and honestly two of the most awesome guys; they have taught me so much

but not in conventional ways. The learning process was that of guided self learning, with only a

small amount of external input when it was deemed necessary. i got fully immersed in several

projects, and gave them my all. One of which was a shed renovation. The shed was a dirty

canvas, ragged around the edges and needed touching up, but the fence i built was a different

story altogether; a completely blank canvas, for which i chose everything and made it my own.

When it was finished, it looked awesome, so much like the image i had in my head, so much

like the fence i wanted to produce to do John proud and to show him that his faith in me was

accurate, deserved and unfaltering. It truly was mine and i am deeply proud of what it stands

for.

Upon leaving the workshop for the final time, i produced some gifts for John, Toney and Shelly

to show how much i appreciate what they have done for me. On this trip to the other side of the

world, i don't have much, and therefore i don't have much to give either, but what i can give is

love, time, care and respect. All those things went into the gifts i had made for these three that

had given me so much in many ways. For John, i had painted my signature sunset style on a

piece of wood, but this time i overlaid the image of two trees reflecting in a lake under the

watchful eyes of two mountains. On tree was there to represent John, and the other was me.

They were also there to signify my two big projects, the fence and the shed build, both of which

were heavily dependant on wood for their completion. I really hope John can look at this and

know what it is that i fwlt whilst i was there, and what he means to me.

For Toney and Shelly, i made a piece of driftwood in the shape of a mountain, and on this i

tied an Maori fishing knot that Toney uses of his carvings when he makes them. This knot is

not something that Toney sat down and taught me, for when i enquired about it he said it was

passed down through the Maori culture from father to son through the ages. I was more than

happy to respect this, and instead of pushing him i used my skills and knowledge to look at

what he had tied and deconstructed it in my head, and then reconstructed it on the piece of

driftwood for him. I took several hours of tireless trial and error to get it right but when i did,

the sense of achievement was immense. In completing it, it brought me one step closer to the

understanding of aspects of the Maori culture. On the driftwood i also had made a necklace

for Shelly, and i tied this on in my way, so that the know representing Toney was next to the

necklace for Shelly, so that when you looked at the piece, it was Toney and Shelly, side by side

under the mountain that they love so much. It also had the contrast of the Moari knot against

the my knot, tied in Black cord, whilst Toney's knot was tied in natural hemp, which i liked as

it shattered the racial barriers which are present in Maori heritage, using white to represent

Maori, and black to represent the European. I do not mean any disrespect with this symbol,

but instead use it to show the times are changing and there can be coexistence, not conflict.

I am so proud of the way both pieces turned out, for my love is also within each of them, and

that can never be lost. The way in which they were received blew me away too. John was pretty

choked to receive his, and gave me a hug and told me to stay safe and come back soon. If that

didn't rock me enough, then the way that Toney and Shelly received their's blew me away even

more. Toney was so stoked with it, and i could see he was proud of me for having created

something from the heart for them. With that, he spoke to me in Maori, and then gave me a

hongi, a traditional Maori greeting, pressing one's nose to another. This is really symbolic,

and meant so much to me. In the hongi, the 'ha' or breath of life is exchanged and intermingled,

and the huge part of this is that through the exchange of the hongi, you are no longer

considered a 'manuhiri' (visitor) but rather 'tangata whenua', one of the people of the land.

This is massive for me, and really brought it all home to me about what it is that i had been

through to get to this point. A hongi from Toney was intense, so much part of his culture,

that to share it with me blew me away. He almost looked as if he was close to tears, and i

know i was but we both held it together.

Shelly was amazing too, giving me such a big hug, and speaking to me in Maori, thanking me

and sending love to me for all i do. She then said something that even know, to think back, a

smile creeps over my face. She said

"You get it, not everyone does, but you do"

Looking at those words now, the words in their own entity seem small but their meaning for

me is massive. They see me and the potential, the understanding, the love and the vision that

i have and know that i will be great with it. It was a stunning end to a wonderful placement

with incredible people...

Opportunity...

A while since my last post, and i guess that has been a lot to do with a mojor relocation for me. Having been based out of Auckland for the last couple of months i have moved myself down the North Island to the Sir Edmund Hillary Outdoor Pursuits Centre where i am half way through a work placement with them. Mostly i have been maintaining the centre and working on projects, which is a little different to what i hoped i might find, but is actually a super big positive step for me. NZ is a lot more relaxed with the lifestyle, working arrangments and opportunities. The centre itself is massive too, with a huge amount of resources to use. Since being here i have really developed my manual and practical workmanship, designing, building and finishing a multitude of projects around the centre such as complete renovation af an old workshed which i am higely proud of, and next week i start work on erecting a fence system for point s around the place. There is a lot more freedom and iniative opportunities here, and i relish that. In the workshop i have been welding and power tooling my way though massive amounts, i've learnt to drive a tractor and operate the front bucket efficiently, i'm out this week for two days on a chainsaw handling course; the opportunities are endless. I definatelt learn well in practical situations, and this place has brought me on leaps and bounds with a vast array of new skills i can take forward in life. As well as working in a more manual labouring environment than i was in the UK, i am still alongside the instructional staff here with some work, which is great, plus it leads onto many trips and excursions at weekends and on our downtime. I've been out kayaking the Tongariro river, Canyoning in the Mangetepopo, Climbing in Wharepapa, Mangetepopo Valley and Whanganui Bay, and plently of socialising with a few beers and a fire which everyone needs from time to time. I also will have the opportunity to spend a week co-instructing with one of the full time staff here which i will put 110% into to ensure that i get the most out of that time as possible, an experience that i am sure will lead onto other things. Having spoken to the centre manager and training officer last week, there is an intake of new staff coming up and i will apply for that full time post and see how it goes. There may also be an intake in September too which would allow me to access a winter season on the South Island between now and then, which would in my view make me a far more versatile, well rounded, suitable and valuable instructor at OPC.

A year of travelling could well lead to more than that... Exciting eh?

What do you do when you wake up and your van is gone...

So this morning was pretty interesting. Wake up having overslept and head on outside to where you left you van only 6 hours previous to find a completely deserted street....

?????????????


Very random morning ensued with phone calls to various people who would have been on the street, called at neighbours houses until it finding out from one neighbour up that at 7am, my van got towed away by the council.....

Oh well, whats going on here then??? Get my stuff and start walking to the council offices to find out if this has happened, and i turn onto the next street to find my van sitting there with an ingfringement notice on the windscreen. Waht an odd morning. I got fined $92 to have my van towed about 200m round the corner....

Down to the council offices and i have lodged a challenge as still pretty unaware why she got towed away in the first place, which could take 21days to be actioned. Haha, oh well. I have my van, she was safe all along, but i still don't have any clue as to why all this went off.


Very Random day indeed....